I be coming to th’ docks to day ‘n’ figured a pint of grog be in order. So I stop a’ “The Dead Man’s Chest” on me way.

Then Dread Pirate Roberts walks in.

Me: Oy, I haven’t seen ye in a while. What happened, ye look mangy!
Him: What do ye mean? I’m fine.
Me: What ’bout that there wooden leg? Ye didn’t ha’ that before.
Him: Well, we ’twere in a battle at sea ‘n’ a cannon ball hit me leg but the Doc fixed me up, ‘n’ I’m fine, really.
Me: Oh yeah? Well what ’bout that there hook? Last time I saw ye, ye had both hands.
Him: We ’twere in another battle ‘n’ we boarrded the enemy ship. I was in a cutlass fight ‘n’ me hand was cut off but the Doc fixed me up with the hook, ‘n’ I feel great, really.
Me: Arrrrr! What about that deadlight patch? Last time ye ’twere in here ye had both deadlights.
Him: One day when we ’twere at sea some birds ’twere flyin’ over the ship. I looked up ‘n’ one o’ them crapped in me deadlight.
Me: Sink me! Yer kiddin’! Ye couldn’t ha’ lost an deadlight just from some bird crap!
Him: Aye… well, I really wasn’t used ta the hook yet.